In which a 26-year-old cashier gets asked out by a 4-year-old

[Today, a mother/father duo rolls up to my register with their 4-year-old son seated in the cart]

4yo boy: I REMEMBER YOU!!!
Me: You do? From where?
4yo: You were here!
Me: [to mother] When was the last time you folks were in here?
Mother: The day after Thanksgiving last year.
Me: [to boy] Oh! So you remember me from Black Friday? What a good memory you have!
4yo: I got a Xbox Kinect. [sic]
Me: Wow! I wish I had one! What's your favorite game?
4yo: Lego Star Wars. Iz fun!
Me: I bet it is!
4yo: I will show you how to play it!
Me: ....?
4yo: You can come over to my house and we can play!
Me: [flattered, but shocked to be asked out by a 4-year-old] I don't know about that...I'm busy working all the time!
4yo: When you are finished today, you can come over!
Me: [trying hard not to ROFL] Hmmm...
4yo: I'm 4 years old!
Me: Wow! You're such a big boy! [to mother] This one's going to grow up to be a charmer...
Mother: [laughs] I know.

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Awkward moment #66 (porn star edition)

So, there's this porn star named Kagney Linn Karter; June 2009's Penthouse Pet. Good looking girl, but with shit for brains and a user of the phrase "fuck my butterfly!"; she has also been known to demand that people lick her "cupcake." Euphemisms are usually stupid, but this kind exceptionally so.

Today, I had a Kagney Linn Karter moment. Completely unintentional and not hot whatsoever.

Today, my SO, his parents, and I dined at Claim Jumpers.

While browsing the drink menu, I read a cocktail description that looked like it might suit me. Hoping it wouldn't be a tiny martini that would be gone in two sips, I asked the waiter:

"How big is your gummy bear?"

To which my SO muttered, "Small, compressible, pink and if things get too hot it gets a little gooey..."

Awkward moment #64 (Persian edition)

I'm ringing up merchandise for these two middle-aged guys from Iran, when one of them asked me how old I am.

"Almost 22."
"Oot of cair-i-o-sity, you are mar-ried?"
Umm... "No?"
"You have boyfriend?"
"Yes, I do."
"Ai...all the beautiful girls mar-ried or have boyfriend."
"Maybe they get snatched up sooner."
"That is it. My sons are 3 and 29, and they need to find a wife. Whenever I see a beautiful girl, I think of having her for a daughter-in-law. But she always mar-ried!"