Tuesday, June 2

Awkward moment #64 (Persian edition)

I'm ringing up merchandise for these two middle-aged guys from Iran, when one of them asked me how old I am.

"Almost 22."
"Oot of cair-i-o-sity, you are mar-ried?"
Umm... "No?"
"You have boyfriend?"
"Yes, I do."
"Ai...all the beautiful girls mar-ried or have boyfriend."
"Maybe they get snatched up sooner."
"That is it. My sons are 3 and 29, and they need to find a wife. Whenever I see a beautiful girl, I think of having her for a daughter-in-law. But she always mar-ried!"

"Maybe you'll get lucky one of these days and find a beautiful girl who is not married."
He ponders this for a second, then resumes.
"So, when is the wed-ding?"
I infer that, in Iran, "boyfriend" means "fiance," and decide not to correct him.
"We, uh, haven't set a date yet."
"Well, I will give you my address and you will invite me! When you do get mar-ried."
"I'm probably not going to marry until after I graduate."
"You are in school? Where?"
"Fresno state. Psychology major."
"Ah, a worldly woman! Does your boyfriend do same thing?"
"He is a Civil Engineering major."
"I am civil engineer!" He grabs his bewildered friend, who appears not to understand English. "We are BOTH civil engineers!"
"That is good."
"I am at Caltrans."
"Your total is $329.55."
"He is paying." He nudges his friend, who seems to him more like a prop than an actual person. His friend proffers a Visa.
"May I please see your ID?"
He says something to his friend in Farsi, who takes out a passport.
"Thank you."
I bag their merchandise--all Junior's clothing except for one Izod polo shirt.
"You have a very nice day."
They linger.
"Um...so where are you guys from?" I already know--they have the same accent as my former boss.
"Umm..." I pause for effect. "Iran?"
"Oh, you are so good!" He claps his hands together.
Just as he is trying to tell me how they are both young at heart, a yuppie lady pushes some Liz Claiborne towards me.
"Have a very nice day!"

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