Saturday, April 7

In which a 26-year-old cashier gets asked out by a 4-year-old

[Today, a mother/father duo rolls up to my register with their 4-year-old son seated in the cart]

4yo boy: I REMEMBER YOU!!!
Me: You do? From where?
4yo: You were here!
Me: [to mother] When was the last time you folks were in here?
Mother: The day after Thanksgiving last year.
Me: [to boy] Oh! So you remember me from Black Friday? What a good memory you have!
4yo: I got a Xbox Kinect. [sic]
Me: Wow! I wish I had one! What's your favorite game?
4yo: Lego Star Wars. Iz fun!
Me: I bet it is!
4yo: I will show you how to play it!
Me: ....?
4yo: You can come over to my house and we can play!
Me: [flattered, but shocked to be asked out by a 4-year-old] I don't know about that...I'm busy working all the time!
4yo: When you are finished today, you can come over!
Me: [trying hard not to ROFL] Hmmm...
4yo: I'm 4 years old!
Me: Wow! You're such a big boy! [to mother] This one's going to grow up to be a charmer...
Mother: [laughs] I know.

Wednesday, August 24

Repost this if... [Rant by proxy]

from this blog :
We’ve all encountered these messages. They’re a sort of “call to action”–someone informs you about an issue and then demands that you make a public display by re-posting the information. I find this annoying. Somehow, if I don’t re-post this information, I feel like I’m doing disservice to my peers or perhaps someone is judging me because my Facebook status hasn’t changed to match the majority of my Newsfeed.

The truth is, at least for me, these post/re-post actions hardly make a difference in my daily life. They are more than a nuisance. When it comes to informing others about issues that affect us or others, I think personal, face-to-face conversations are best. Furthermore, I think some of these post/re-post misinform the public.

For example, I read this a couple of months ago and then again yesterday:
A 15 year old girl holds hands with her 1 year old son. People call her a slut, no one knows she was raped at 13. People call another Guy fat. No one knows he has a serious disease causing him to be overweight . People call an old man ugly. No one knew he had a serious injury to his face while fighting for our country in the war.People call a women bald but they don,t know she has cancer Re-post this if you are against bullying and stereotyping. I bet 95% of you won’t do it.
Really? Don’t call the 15 year old girl who’s been raped slut–OK–but what about the 21 year old female who’s sexually active and has multiple partners? Is it OK to call her a slut? What about the porn star? Is it OK to call her a slut and treat her any different from the 15 year old girl?

And the fat guy. What if he doesn’t have a disease? I guess it’s completely acceptable to mistreat and dehumanize him if he so chooses to remain at a weight unfavorable to society’s perceived norms.

Only deformed veterans who serve the U.S. are excused from being called ugly. Should we harass people who were born “ugly”?

Bald women? You can only be bald if you have cancer. If not, there must be a problem with you and you must be called bald, or any other inappropriate title that may be given to you because you don’t have long, flowing hair.

Perhaps I’m being over-sensitive–though I doubt that’s what it is. Somehow, I feel that people think they are doing their daily, weekly, monthly, whatever amount of social justice service by posting up misleading opinions such as this one. Instead of having an in depth, personal conversation about issues such as how we perceive others who may be different from “the norm,” people cop out by displaying a general statement that simply doesn’t address the real issue.

So I’m proud to be part of the 95% that does not re-post such misleading information.

Monday, August 9

What is uroboros?

An uroboros is a serpent with its tail in its mouth. Dating back to at least Ancient Egypt, and very popular with medieval alchemists, the uroboros is said to represent eternity.  It also symbolizes both self-sufficiency and self-destruction (depending on which end of the snake one identifies with).

I beg to differ. As a writer of memoir, I am an uroboros, chewing on my past to survive the present, to make a thing of beauty for the future. Problem is, I will eventually eat myself up and disappear.
>Memoir is a bitter genre—the realm of writers with business unfinished and words unsaid.
>A netherworld, if you will.
>Between the spoken, the written, the thought out and willfully forgotten, lies a liminality.
>This is where we—I?—dwell.
>They say a ghost cannot cross over until the conflict that keeps them here is resolved.
>What if the ghost cannot find the conflict? Worse--what if the conflict doesn't want to be found? What if it will stop at nothing to escape?

Tuesday, June 8

Friday, May 28

If you were to get a tattoo, what would it be? And where would you put it?

I would get an oroboros mermaid across my back, with a few differences:
1. Instead of being circular, this oroboros would be shaped like the infinity symbol.
2. Instead of having her tail in her mouth, the mermaid would be cradling it, almost as if she is using it as a pillow.
3. The mermaid will have my face.

Its significance: The oroboros is a cyclical symbol of both self-sufficiency and depression (eating oneself). The fact that she is using her tail as a pillow (instead of eating it) means she is comfortable with this aspect of herself, and gains nourishment by acknowledging her weaknesses. She used to be self-destructive, but is now self-nourishing.

Thursday, May 27

Do you look "American" enough to be COMPLETELY immune from having to prove that you have a right to be here? Well I don't.

 I get asked "what are you?" all the time. Most people guess some kind of Middle Eastern, East Indian, or Latin.

Actually, my father is American and of German descent; my mother is Thai and LEGALLY moved here with my dad when she was 29; she gave birth to me at University Medical Center here in Fresno, CA on March 3, 1986.

The reason I am blogging about this: if I were in Arizona, I would (most likely) have to prove my right to be in the U.S., in spite of being born here, because I'm not full Caucasian.  Here are the reasons:

5. I've been told I look like a Bollywood actress.

4. My boyfriend's step-grandmother thought it was weird that I didn't like to eat lamb because apparently, people from my "country" eat it all the time! Click the link, then look at my pic, and take a guess as to which region she was referring to (hint: it's not Scotland).

3. Strangers have been known to come up to me and speak to me in Farsi (the official language of Iran), Urdu (official language of Pakistan), or Hindi; I usually say "I don't speak that language. I only speak English." and they will usually say, in English, "I thought you were such-and-such nationality, I'm sorry." Very polite and all, but even they could see that my phenotype is not that of a prototypical American girl.

2. This guy from Iran once proposed to me on behalf of his son.

1. When I was 10, someone asked me if I had a green card because I didn't look "American." I didn't know what a green card was. When I found out, it upset me very much, and I started to hate my mother for "tainting" my genetic makeup. I've told this to her numerous times, blaming her for my skin not being lily white and for my square jaw. It makes her very proud of her heritage, indeed!

How about you?  Do you look "American" enough to be COMPLETELY immune from having to prove that you have a right to be here? Why or why not? Discuss.

Sunday, January 10

Pathetically punny? YOU BE THE JUDGE!!!

With over ten years of experience giving "great face,"* Bliss (a skincare company) has brought you the best-selling Poetic Waxing Kit (TM) and the positively exhilarating 'O2MG!' Oxygenating Facial Mask (TM). Now, as a companion product to the Fat Girl Slim (TM) anti-cellulite line, they bring you The Love Handler (TM), which

"Wages war on not-so-hard 'core' areas with caffeine, to whittle the look of your middle and tone pudgy tummies. Cooling mint oil and naturally-derived amino acid help to boost energy and make lingering lipids depart on the double. (It's 'ab'-solutely fabulous, if we do say so ourselves.)"*

It's truly beyond your wildest "creams!"*

*actual advertising copy. Think I'm kidding? Click the

Lacrimosal Link of DOOM!

and cry filthy warm tears.