Pathetically punny? YOU BE THE JUDGE!!!

With over ten years of experience giving "great face,"* Bliss (a skincare company) has brought you the best-selling Poetic Waxing Kit (TM) and the positively exhilarating 'O2MG!' Oxygenating Facial Mask (TM). Now, as a companion product to the Fat Girl Slim (TM) anti-cellulite line, they bring you The Love Handler (TM), which

"Wages war on not-so-hard 'core' areas with caffeine, to whittle the look of your middle and tone pudgy tummies. Cooling mint oil and naturally-derived amino acid help to boost energy and make lingering lipids depart on the double. (It's 'ab'-solutely fabulous, if we do say so ourselves.)"*

It's truly beyond your wildest "creams!"*

*actual advertising copy. Think I'm kidding? Click the

Lacrimosal Link of DOOM!

and cry filthy warm tears.